


Let It Happen

by moonflowery



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussing around Death, F/F, Immortal Wives Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Immortality, Mortal Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Post-Canon, TOGFemSlashFortnight, death mention, drowning mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflowery/pseuds/moonflowery
Summary: And then I thinkWhat could be better than love, than love, than love?After their reunion, Andy and Quynh have some really good days together. But then there are the really bad days...
Relationships: Andy | Andromache the Scythian/Quynh | Noriko
Comments: 11
Kudos: 33
Collections: The Old Guard Femslash Fortnight 2020





	Let It Happen

**Author's Note:**

> One of my submissions for The Old Guard Femslash Fortnight!
> 
> Prompt: Song as inspiration. I chose _Smoking Section by St. Vincent_
> 
> (me: has a dozen of love songs for andromaquynh  
> also me: picks the angstiest one i could find  
> seriously this is one of the angstiest thing i've written but i hope you guys like it!)

_St. Vincent - Smoking Section_

There were good days, of course, they were. No amount of pain existed in the universe enough to eclipse the immeasurable joy that Andy and Quynh felt by being reunited. For the two of them, there was simply no greater pleasure than knowing the other was alive. Then, on top of that, being able to just exist together, experience life and happiness as they well deserved it… well, it felt pretty much like a miracle.

However, after living as many thousands of years as the two warriors had, they didn’t believe in Gods, let alone miracles. They believed in doing the right thing, in fighting for the right causes, in giving their all in battle. They also used to believe they were immortal, and would always be together until the end. Now, they had to face the facts of the world being too big and complicated to save in a single war, and the consequences of one of them no longer being immortal, and the other one having experienced a tragic separation that would forever haunt her.

_Sometimes I sit in the smoking section_

_Hopin' one rogue spark will land in my direction_

_And when you stomp me out, I scream and I'll shout_

_"Let it happen, let it happen, let it happen"_

“You really must relax, Andromache, the world won’t end because you’re constantly trying to save it,” Quynh said slowly. Her tone carried that purposefulness that Andy came to recognize as her lover not fully believing her own words but wanting to, and wishing to torment Andy with the illusion that she wasn’t the same person that used to fiercely protect humanity, until humanity repaid her with the curse of her underwater torture.

The two of them were sitting on one of the exterior tables of a small restaurant of sorts, in a city that Quynh didn’t recognize at all. She needed to reacquaint herself with the world, and Andy needed a vacation. But this wasn’t a good day, this one was bad. Quynh was taunting her with those words, Andy was going through a pack of cigarettes as if her life depended on it, and she had just ordered another drink.

“My heart, you’ll finally kill yourself if you go on like this,” Quynh insisted, her concern barely cracking the surface before she covered it up with, “Then who, I wonder, will be strong to keep the world from burning?”

Quynh was mocking her. Quynh wanted Andy to believe that she now believed humanity wasn’t worth fighting for. Well, Andy thought, maybe she had a point after all.

“Let it happen,” she mumbled, and finished half of her new drink in one go, “Let the world burn, let me die first for once and for all,” she stumbled to her feet, kicking the table and making head turn their way, “Let it fucking happen!” she yelled, and walked away.

_And sometimes I feel like an inland ocean_

_Too big to be a lake, too small to be an attraction_

_And when you wander in and start to flail a bit_

_I let it happen, let it happen, let it happen_

“Quynh, please, talk to me,” Andy begged. She begged to the only person she would beg to. She begged for understanding, forgiveness, for a chance to listen, and the privilege to hear. But Quynh was silent.

The nightmares happened on most nights really. She was back in the ocean, she was ocean, she dragged Andy down with her, Andy went willingly, Andy refused to go down, every option was horrendous. She couldn’t put it into words, she didn’t want to and so she didn’t. Only in silence could Quynh get a grasp of reality again. But her silence tormented the love of her life and she… well, she let it happen.

“Please, say something?” Andy pleaded with tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry, I know it was my fault, and I know I should have found you before,” she intended for the hundredth time while the tears started to fall, “Please, my love, it’s just me, say anything, I need you here.”

_Sometimes I stand with a pistol in hand_

_I fire at the grass just to scare you right back_

_And when you won't run, I'm mad but I succumb_

_Let it happen, let it happen, let it happen_

They were together at a shooting range. On the good days, when Andy convinced Quynh the world still had people worth fighting for, it was obvious one of them needed some introductions to modern-day weapons. But when one or both of them weren’t in the right state of mind, things could sway in treacherous directions.

“Andromache!” Quynh screamed when she heard the shot that Andy fired at the ground, right between her own two feet.

The taller woman barely reacted, she was looking down at the ground, her body still as stone. Eventually, a smile started to show on her lips. “One shot wouldn’t kill me, unless I aim at the right place,” she looked up at Quynh with an expression too troubled to ever completely unravel, “If it’s my time now, should I just let it happen? Do you think I should shoot?” She asked casually.

“No,” Quynh replied, more serious than ever before. In two quick steps, she was beside Andy, and she simply yanked the gun out of her lover’s hands. She could tell that had angered the other woman, but that didn’t matter half as much as taking care of her now fragile life.

_And sometimes I go to the edge of my roof_

_And I think I'll jump just to punish you_

_And if I should float on the taxis below_

_No one would notice, no one will know_

“What troubles me, Andromache, is that you couldn’t see me,” Quynh was explaining, “Sebastien and Nile did, through their dreams. But you, my heart, my most important person, you have no idea, not really, what it looked like for me down there.”

Both women, older than everything they could see around them, even the constellations above them, sat on the edge of the roof of what Quynh believed was an impossibly tall building. The city was loud, and bright, and the unstoppable and furious current of cars flowing on the streets below looked, to Quynh, like a much furious river than the ocean she now thought of as an old home, abusive and painful but a home nonetheless.

“Maybe I should jump,” she whispered at last, knowing Andy could hear her despite all the noise, knowing Andy didn’t even have to hear her because they could practically read each other’s thoughts, and knowing, for that same reason, that neither of them believed her words but that didn’t make them any less chilling, “Maybe I should jump, so you could see me drown.”

_And then I think_

_What could be better than love, than love, than love?_

_And then I think_

_What could be better than love, than love, than love?_

“Good morning,” Quynh smiled at Andy, “Are you feeling better today?”

They were in bed, just waking up and exchanging the very first meaningful looks, gentle smiles, and intimate touches of the day. For the past few days, Andy had been begrudgingly fighting a cold. A gruesome battle that included her many wishes to just “die already” while her family lovingly let her know a cold, “sadly,” wasn’t enough to kill her.

“Much better, thank you,” Andy whispered her reply as she leaned in forward and kissed Quynh’s forehead, “I love you,” she murmured, incapable of not saying it.

“I love you too, until the end,” Quynh answered, with a soothing conviction that would have healed Andy from even mortal wounds. Quynh placed a hand on Andy’s cheek and guided her so their lips could meet in an always familiar, always exhilarating kiss. It was going to be a good day, a very good day together.

_It's not the end, it's not the end_

_It's not the end, it's not the end_

_It's not the end, it's not the end_

_It's not the end, it's not the end_

_It's not the end, it's not the end_

_It's not the end, it's not the end_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are really appreciated :D  
> you can find me on tumblr @daniwouldnever


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